21 clear signs your boss wants to sleep with you
Attraction between coworkers is perfectly normal. Of course, it can lead to all sorts of messy situations.
But the dynamic becomes more complicated when a boss is attracted to one of their subordinates. Here is the first thing that you need to consider if you are wondering: "Does my boss want to sleep with me?"
Look for at least 10 to 15 signs that suggest your boss might want to sleep with you. Just one or even several indicators of affection can easily be misinterpreted.
Make your conclusions only after you observe an entire cluster of signs and behaviors that indicate sexual attraction and desire.
If you think that the behavior of your boss is inappropriate and you feel like you are being pressured and sexually harassed at work, don’t hesitate to contact your local authorities to file a formal complaint.
Table of Contents
Signs your boss wants to sleep with you
1. They share details about their personal life with you
If your boss often gives you details about their personal life, especially mentioning that they are currently single, this could be a hint that they are totally available for you.
You might hear them say things like “I've been lonely lately” or “I think it's time for me to meet somebody.”
2. They take interest in your personal life
By sharing details about their personal life, your boss might be hoping that you will respond in kind by sharing details about yours.
If they are attracted to you, they'd be curious to find out if you are romantically available.
3. It seems they treat you a little differently than other colleagues
You might start to notice that they pay particular attention to you. They are always interested in what you have to say and it seems that they talk to you a bit longer compared to everyone else.
They welcome your ideas with excitement (even the not-so-good ones).
4. They get you for private meetings
Your boss is arranging these one on one meetings to discuss seemingly trivial and unimportant matters.
It looks like they are doing whatever they can, using their position to their advantage, to get you alone to get to know you a little better. They might even ask you to stay after your shift so they could be alone with you.
Isn't it funny how these meetings always go off-topic and you start talking about things that are totally not related to work?
5. The way they speak to you is different
You might notice that their diction and tone of voice change when they speak to you. You can sense a shift in their awareness through the way they speak.
It seems that they are a little bit more present and grounded when they speak to you.
6. They try to look their best
Your boss is dressing up, putting on their best outfits. They are making efforts to appear more attractive, they use hair products and make-up. It's just another Tuesday morning in the office but they look like they are ready for a photo shoot.
7. They get nervous around you
Perhaps your boss is a little shy. So they get a little nervous and fidgety around you. This can be a sign that they are very eager for you to like them.
Their attraction to you is so strong that they lose their cool around you.
8. They laugh at your jokes (a lot)
Your boss finds you funny and they laugh a little too hard when you make a joke. Their reaction is rather an overaction. This means that they really want to show just how much they like you.
9. Social media attention
If your boss reacts to your pictures and selfies (especially your selfies) on a regular basis, then they might be giving you a hint about what is going on.
If they slide into your DMs and talk about topics that are not related to work, you can be almost certain that they are interested in you.
10. They ask questions about your past
They might ask about where you grew up and what were you like in college. A strong hint would be if they ask you about previous relationships.
11. You receive compliments from them
It's one thing if they compliment what a great job you've done. But once they start complimenting your looks, the way you dress, or even your perfume, then it’s a clear sign that something is going on.
12. They become very happy when you compliment them
Because of all these compliments that you receive from them, you might feel that it would be polite to give them a compliment or two in return.
Which is probably what they were hoping for. If they have a massive crush on you, a compliment from you might make them ecstatic and they might thank you profusely for it.
13. They give you head-to-toe looks
You might catch them shamelessly checking you out. Or you might notice that they are unable to look you in the eyes while you speak.
Their eyes are all over you and they just can't look away because of how attracted they are to you.
14. You sense they get a little jealous
They crave your attention and get jealous when they don't get it. This might result in aggression and rudeness coming from them.
Which is a terrible situation. The last thing you want to deal with at work is a boss who is obsessed with you.
15. They try to impress you
You might hear them brag about this and that. Such as what university they graduated from, what car they are driving, or how much money they are making.
Anything that can raise their social status in your eyes goes.
16. They want to socialize outside of work
They might ask you about your plans for the weekend or where you usually hang out in hope of just "randomly" stumbling into you later on.
Or they could be a lot more straightforward and tell you that you should hang out sometimes, or go out for drinks.
17. They are mean to you for no apparent reason
Your boss might play dirty and become rude to you to get under your skin. Sometimes they are sweet, sometimes they are mean and yelling at you.
This emotional push and pull is a common tactic used to prove a reaction in a romantic interest. But if you are dealing with rudeness at work on a regular basis, then perhaps it is time to talk to them and set some boundaries.
18. The jokes they make around you are a little inappropriate
They might use "humor" to give you a hint. They might make a sexually charged comment, gauge your reaction, and immediately follow up with an apology. Again, they are trying to get a reaction from you.
19. Intense eye contact
Sometimes you might feel like their gaze is a little too intense when their eyes meet yours. If you notice that their eye pupils are dilated, this could be a strong sign of attraction.
20. They are being physical
They can't help but touch you. It could be a small and innocent gesture such as putting their hand on your shoulder or touching your arm as they laugh after you made a joke. Of course, if you are being touched inappropriately, then you are definitely dealing with a toxic person and you should take actions to report them.
21. They openly flirt with you
Obviously, your boss could be very straightforward and confident so they might decide to shamelessly flirt with you, be it at work when they get you alone or through not-so-subtle DMs.
This is the clearest sign that your boss is sexually attracted to you.
Signs your female boss wants to sleep with you
Women are usually a lot more subtle and reserved when flirting, especially at work. They might give you small hints to see how you'd respond and wait for you to make a move.
Look for a cluster of signs indicating attraction before you make any conclusions.
Signs a male boss wants to sleep with you
Men are more direct in their approach and more likely to neglect professional etiquette.
If your male boss wants to sleep with you, you will quickly notice a huge cluster of signs indicating that they are sexually attracted to you.
Your boss might be the type of person who doesn't like to beat around the bush. So they might just ask you out on a date eventually.
Hopefully, they are a person who will take “no” for an answer in case you don't feel the same way about them.
What to do if your boss is trying to sleep with you
If your boss is trying to sleep with you and you are not okay with that, you can unequivocally tell them that you are not interested and they should stop acting the way they do towards you. They might not take that too well if you are dealing with a narcissist.
If you think that their behavior is highly inappropriate and you feel sexually harassed, then you can file a formal complaint to your local authorities.
You can also report your boss to HR. It is their job to ensure that all employee rights are protected.
You might also want to check out our guide on how to leave a toxic workplace if the situation becomes unbearable and you are looking for a swift exit.
However, if you are attracted to your boss, then you are free to respond to their advances. Just keep in mind that it would be wise to check your company's dating policy. Take a look at our guide on how to ask a person you work with out on a date without making it awkward.
Also, some of your coworkers might drastically change their opinion about you. According to this study, employees gain a more negative perception of coworkers who are dating their superiors.
Signs your boss is sleeping with a coworker
If your boss is sleeping with a coworker and they are trying to keep it a secret, it would be very difficult to confirm the suspicion. There are certain signs that might indicate a secret romance.
- Your boss unreasonably favors your coworker.
- It seems they have a lot of inside jokes and lingo.
- Your boss and coworker are unusually physical at work.
- The pair often sneak out or go to other rooms so they could be alone.
- They are seen together outside of work around hotels, bars, and restaurants.
If the secret lovers are smart, they will agree to behave at work and act normally around each other. Still, they might slip up and you might accidentally notice some of the signs.